When You Can’t Get No Satisfaction

spyvsspy

John Adamus wrote a post today about The Writer and Fairness, in which he mentions how a lot of writers aren’t content because they’re not treated fairly, and why that shouldn’t be an issue.

I agree for the most part but, in my experiences, the issue of being treated fairly is often made complicated whenever finances or marketing of oneself, others, or a product (e.g. books) is involved. Additionally, it is absolutely true that sexism, racism, and all those other -isms exist. Sometimes, an author gets slighted (or receives unjust praise) not because the work is (or is not of) superior quality, but because the publishing industry, self-published or not, is run by people. Not robots, not hamsters on a wheel, or cultists — but mercurial human beings with all manner of beliefs and personalities.

Though it will increase your chances, I do not believe your success solely relies on writing the best story possible. Success is not achievable unless you define what “success” means. I feel you absolutely need to determine its parameters in order to be truly happy, manage expectations, and achieve your goals. Not everyone wants the same things. Again, this is another reason why people get extraordinarily nutty on occasion — peer at your creative works through the eyes of anyone else, and you will see a distorted image. We do this (I’ve done it once or twice) because honest feedback is rare even in an internet age. Occasionally, we seek guidance to know we’re headed in the right direction, even when you’re the only person who understands where you’re going and how you’re going to get there.

When you hear something positive about the work you’re doing, it can be very encouraging. But when it’s not? Or when it’s fake or what have you? I think you know what happens when negativity hurts, because you’ve seen the result of that. You’ve seen “author bad behavior” where they go off on fans. You’ve heard about writers attacking other writers. This has happened before and it will happen again. Either way, positive or negative, those comments shouldn’t stop you from the act of creation. That, my readers, all circles back to you. This is where I feel the test of a truly contented artist lies: that you will go on, in spite of all the bullshit, because you are an artist, painter, sculptor, writer, etc. and you will not let anyone or anything get between you and your creative works.

Whenever I’m dealing with major dissatisfaction, I ask myself a few questions to hone in on the real problem. For smaller annoyances, I either rant or make a sarcastic comment or play a game or dive into a new project or whatever — and then I move forward as quickly as possible. Sometimes, I get stuck and I have to work through a tough decision about cutting personnel or severing ties with a publisher, etc. Other times, I require focus. e.g. Not be online. In the end, the work has to come first for me – which is where these queries come from.

1) What did I expect to get out of the situation in the first place? – If the answer is: I did this as a favor, took a lower rate, or let a lot of mistreatment go without saying anything, etc. etc. etc. Then, clearly, I should not expect to be treated well in return, because I did not put my own considerations first in a reasonable and healthy way. By taking too many shortcuts and one too many niceties, I’m basically sending out an unconscious message that I’m too accommodating or that I don’t care about myself or my work. Ergo: I’m supporting an illusion that I’m a doormat. Instead, the solution here is to remind myself of two things: one) I am self-employed and two) I have every right to take my career seriously. Because if I don’t — no one else will, either. That L’Oreal advertising phrase “I’m worth it!” from years back? Applies.

2) Is the company/person professional? – There are a lot of different types of authors out there. There are, also, a variety of publishers. Some run a business, full-time, and earn their income off what they do. Others? Well, you’ve seen market listings 4theluv. Some publishers don’t expect to make any money. Toss finances aside, for a second, and focus on the word “professional.” Size of publisher matters not. Volume and quality of publications matters not. People, on the other hand, are everything and it’s quite possible that no, they aren’t going to be professional. I’ve found that most don’t care where you’ve been or what direction you’re heading for; they deal with you as you are now according to their own objectives. Unprofessionalism explains a lot of industry-related treatment; while inexcusable from my perspective, even bullies get book deals. Knowing that, there’s really only one thing I have every right to be worried about: the words on my screen. Sometimes, though, certain comments and remarks are taken out of context and that can cause hurt feelings on both sides. Publishing is a people business. And people don’t always say or do the right thing. The majority of times, I believe mistakes are unintentional; sometimes, though, they are.

3) Has this sort of thing happened before? – In my experiences, problems can either be endemic or specific. When they are endemic, the answer is “YES!” But you don’t know that unless you talk to people or have loads of experience. When they’re specific, well, there’s still a bunch of factors that could have borked the situation. It’s fundamentally true that you will not get along with everyone; sometimes, you have to find the people that you DO get along with, but that requires social skills and/or copious amounts of alcohol. (I jest on that last. And not joking about the social skills.) This industry is pretty small and, if you’ve been around long enough, you’ll probably make a few friends, enemies, and (though I loathe to use this word) frenemies. You’ll hear rumors, conjecture, gossip. You’ll find opportunities, get recommendations, and exchange favors. And, eventually, you’ll start to navigate the industry the same way you do your day job (if you have one) or your social life. Having a support network, whether they’re in the industry or not, really helps ground me.

4) Am I happy with the quality of my work? My ability to produce words? Upcoming projects/contracts? Financial solubility? Where I’m at with my career? – These yes or no questions sum up the crux of any dissatisfaction issue for me. In order, right now, as if 1/21/2013: yes/yes/yes/no/no. Ah! So I’ve just confessed I’m happy with my work, but I’m not satisfied with my overall career.

This little reality check nails what I need to focus on and identifies the possible source — the real epicenter — of my distress. No room for “maybes.” If I say “maybe” for any one of those questions, I count that answer as a “no.” The more yes’s I have, the more content I usually am. Win win, I say. More words on the screen cures all ills.

Or, as they quip here in double digit freezing temperatures… Time for chocolate mint cookies.

    Mood: cold
    Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Not enough
    Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Blargh. Housework.
    In My Ears: Nothing.
    Game Last Played: Bears!
    Movie Last Viewed: Lorax
    Latest Artistic Project: Holiday gifts
    Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology

25 Mantras on Writing and Professionalism

As a follow-up to my previous post about “bad news,” I decided to write my thoughts on what I feel it means to be a professional writer. You may disagree with me, and that’s okay. I firmly believe that your path is not the same as mine. Take what you want and leave the rest.

    1. Any advice, news, tools, or people that distract you from getting words down on the page is not valuable to you as a writer, regardless of how positive or uplifting you feel afterward.
    2. Having a writer’s platform is meaningless if you don’t have any readers, because your brand’s awareness does not always equate to sales.
    3. Avoid any bandwagon that declares publishers or retailers are bad or evil.
    4. Know your own worth but be realistic about it.
    5. Learn the tools, but don’t make your platform your primary focus if you have nothing to sell.
    6. Don’t quit your day job. Don’t quit your day job. Don’t quit your day job.
    7. If you submit a story, pitch or job application, don’t wait to hear back before starting on the next one.
    8. Respect and support other writers that are more experienced that you are.
    9. Writing is NOT a competition. What (or who) one reader or employer likes is going to be very different from someone else. Sometimes, you aren’t a good fit for the job. Sometimes, an employer doesn’t want to re-train a new writer to work with them. There’s a lot of slots to fill; find the ones that work for you and keep looking.
    10. Understand that some people will be happy for your success and some people won’t. Learn to tell the difference and distance yourself from those who are jealous or are willing to sabotage you.
    11. Don’t talk shit or make boasts you can’t back up. You never know how that will come back and haunt you — until it does.
    12. Remember that there are misconceptions about writers and, in some cases, there is nothing you can do about it.
    13. Know that success is relative. One writer’s accomplishments are not your successes, so quit worrying about what someone else is doing. Their “greatness” doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
    14. It’s okay to have a bad day! Experience that bad day, then get over it and get back to work.
    15. If you are a writer, be flexible but write what you’re interested in and work for the people you have a good relationship with. Do not become a slave to your job.
    16. If you can’t afford to be a full-time writer, explore your options and find a part-time job or something else to do. Being a poor artist isn’t virtuous or ideal — it sucks.
    17. Always keep an eye out for new jobs or opportunities and network, network, network.
    18. Don’t be afraid to say “No” when you need to.
    19. Resign yourself to the fact that you may never be as popular or wealthy as Steven King. The, focus on the readers that you DO have.
    20. Learn how to resolve interpersonal conflicts and identify people who can’t. If you wind up on the receiving end of something like this and your assignment/job/project is affected, know that even though it might feel like a personal attack, it’s more of a reflection on the person who can’t resolve the conflict.
    21. Get it in writing.
    22. Realize that you are not a machine. Some days you’ll write faster than others.
    23. Recognize that everyone functions differently and cultural nuances affect not only how people work, but how they respond to people and what they do at work, too. If someone doesn’t get back to you right away, it’s not because they’re ignoring you.
    24. Understand that your rejection letters may not have anything to do with the quality of your work or “you” as a person. Don’t take them personally.
    25. Keep up-to-date on technology and don’t be afraid to learn new things that make you more marketable.




Monica Valentinelli >

Looking for Monica’s books and games that are still in print? Visit Monica Valentinelli on Amazon’s Author Central or a bookstore near you.

Archives

Back to Top