Geek*Kon and Processing Your Emotions Like a Pro Panel Recap

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Sitting in my office inhaling Pocky and relying a little too heavily on the Diet Mountain Dew this fine day, if only because this year’s Geek*Kon was a whirlwind of color and panels and friends. I continue to be in awe of the love, energy, and effort of anime fans and the work they put into their costumes, and use this weekend as a reminder that the future of reading is incredibly diverse. Plus, I want to give a shout out to the Lolita girls who put a lot of time and energy into their fashionable dresses to walk around the show. Also: Enrica Jang (Red Stylo Media) and Jennifer M. Smith are both awesome women in comics. Be sure to check out their work!

This weekend I was on several panels and presentations and noticed a lot of up-and-coming or inexperienced writers in the audience. Most of my advice about writing translates to this: I cannot give you any advice that will help you fix a manuscript I haven’t read, have the confidence to keep writing all the way through to The End, the best way to learn how to write and to keep internalizing processes is to Do The WorkTM, and lastly…if you’re having trouble balancing worldbuilding and story remember why you’re creating settings. If you’re writing a novel, then your story trumps the world you’ve built separately every time. Sometimes, there’s wonderful aspects of a world that make sense technically but might not translate well into fiction–and that’s totally okay! In the end, there’s no magical bit of advice I can give anyone other than to Do The WorkTM and be loyal to it. You’d be surprised how smart other people really and truly are; if you don’t Do The WorkTM others will figure that out, too.

Emotions and Professionalism

I also proposed a new panel this year about the connection between emotions and being a professional. Briana Lawrence joined me to talk about her experiences and offer nuggets of wisdom. I Tweeted a bunch during the panel, but I wanted to share with you some thoughts that came out of the panel because I feel they might be helpful for you.

Briana told the crowd that, “The first problem is that creatives are not taken seriously as having a real job. Cons are work.”

This, here, is where a lot of problems come into play because there’s an emotional journey artists take especially if they do not have a supportive environment either through close friends or immediate family. What artists do, regardless of which type of art we make, is not treated as work. When our efforts are not thought of that way, the work is then devalued and our time is taken for granted. Plus, many artists never get past this step to realize that a) yes, they are an artist and b) you can build a career even though that bit is hard, complicated, and draining at times due to the struggles we have with the financial component.

I mentioned, for example, that when I make friends or go to Bar Con I do not want to talk about work or think/worry about social commerce and “who” I’m talking to. I think about work enough as it is, and “picking my brain” is something that I will do on my terms. When I’m in my off-time, I value the ability to just hang out and be. I do not make friends based on whether or not they can help me or do things for me on a free basis, and that’s partly how I’ve gotten to know a lot of people. But, as I’ve said many times before, knowing people is not a replacement for Doing The WorkTM, either. While there are systemic issues that exist, especially when it comes to marketing/visibility, that’s all I have control over. Often, it’s never just “the one” person asking for advice, either. This is partly why I go to conventions in the first place; cons are a way of giving back, and many of them are on my own dime. Worse, however, is challenging the perception that artists are stuck up, arrogant, or bitchy for not “giving back” on someone else’s terms when what we do is not considered work. That’s partly why I said that: “When you are an artist, you don’t get paid for finding inspiration. But that matters, so have a life.” We don’t get paid for research or inspiration or downtime, but that’s part of the cycle of creativity, too.

Briana reinforced this by saying: “I used to call myself the Dream Crusher. No one wants to hear that there’s no easy path to the spotlight. You need to Do The WorkTM.”

We did spend some time talking about conventions, and we shared some tips for handling (most) situations. They are:

    1.) Know someone at con to be there if there’s a problem. e.g. Safety net. This also extends to knowing where/when to report a problem if it occurs ahead of time.
    2.) Pick an outfit/style you just wear at cons as a visual cue/mental reminder that you are working and presenting.
    3.) Give yourself permission to feel. It’s okay if you have to back outing a conversation/panel if it’s too much for you. This is especially important if you get bad news!
    4.) Plan downtime to rest/recharge and give yourself some personal time. (I use Google Calendar to plot out my free time.)
    5.) Buy something small for yourself as a reward to build new and positive memories from another author, artist, or while in the dealer room.

Then, the conversation flipped to dealing with online harassment and interactions. I mentioned that I manage the small things emotionally on a daily basis, because if I go broad I will get depressed from all the things I can’t change. I also advise to establish boundaries both online and off, to ensure your emotional health is maintained. It’s okay to say “No.” However, there were several nuggets of wisdom and observation from Briana due to her experiences online that I want to capture here:

  • There’s a perception that if you don’t comment you don’t care, or that awful behavior that doesn’t get outrage is okay. (e.g. blackface)
  • You do not need to tag people to be “the black voice” and fight your battles for you.
  • Remember that folks get tired of having the same conversations over and over again. Blackface was not okay in 2013, and it’s not okay now.
  • Consistent comments hurt. You do not need to engage to prove you can handle trolls or how strong you are.

So there you have it! Brand new panel, and I think that went pretty well. Thanks to Briana and her words of wisdom; she definitely added a lot to a touchy and sensitive topic.



My GenCon 2015 Schedule

This year, my fan-facing activities will be related to Firefly and the GenCon Writer’s Symposium. There will be several books of mine available at the show, and you can read about those here. If you are a member of the press, please contact me privately so I can find time to spend with you. If I’m currently working on a project with you and you’d like to meet up, please feel free to send me an e-mail as my schedule is pretty full.

Thursday, July 30

10:00 a.m. – SEM1577156 Craft: Where to Start the Story ICC : Room 243

2:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. – MWP Booth #1613

6:00 p.m. – SEM1577164 Craft: RPG Tie-In Fiction ICC : Room 243

Friday, July 31

2:00 to 3:00 p.m. – Signing in Author’s Alley

8:00 p.m. – ENnie Awards to announce the winners. Nominations for games I’ve worked on can be found here.

Saturday, August 1

11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. – MWP Booth #1613

7:00 – SEM1577146 WB: Monsters and Other Horrors ICC : Room 244

Sunday, August 2

11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. – Read & Critique – Room 244 with Geoffrey Girard and Delilah Dawson.

My CONvergence Schedule

CONvergence British Invasion

I will be attending CONvergence as a guest this year.

Here is my schedule, though you should note that the later the panels get… The more unfiltered I shall be… In part, I think this is a mad conspiracy to access my pure decorum-less state. The later it gets coupled with a serious caffeine addiction. Oh, that’s my Kryptonite. Sure, I start out all nice and well-mannered, but Midnight beckons and my fangs pop out all by their lonesome. It’s quite terrifying, actually. Sharp, pointy teeth.

On that note, I suppose I should say: “Come if you dare?”

Friday, July 5

9:30am
Science Fiction as a Hopeful Future vs. a Cautionary Tale

12:30pm
Gaming in the ‘Verse

2:00pm
Signing – Joseph Scrimshaw/Monica Valentinelli

10:00pm
Writing a Book in Someone Else’s Universe

Saturday, July 6

7:00pm
Reading – Monica Valentinelli

11:30pm
Vampire Literature From Dracula to Edward Cullen

Visit Me at these WisCon Panels

Next weekend I’m going to be attending WisCon, which is located in Madison. This will be my first time attending and speaking at the convention, and I plan on sticking to the writing panels as much as I can. The panels below are the ones I will be speaking at; if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, I hope to see you there! Regardless, make sure you bring your favorite books or games to the “Sign-Out” for your favorite writers to autograph for you.

My Panels at WisCon 2009

Reinventing the Adventure * Sat 5/23 10:00 – 11:15AM * Capitol A
Moderator: Alex Lamb. Carol F. Emshwiller, John Helfers, P. C. Hodgell, Monica Valentinelli.
The adventure story archetype lies at the heart of both science fiction and fantasy, and is the oldest and arguably most profound literary form in human history. How come contemporary society has ghettoized this art form? Even in science fiction, many authors have shied away from adventure in their desire to be taken seriously. How can we reverse this trend? What does it take to write fiction that’s fast, fun, shamelessly adventurous, and at least as challenging as what passes these days for mainstream lit?
Consistency vs. Variety * Sun 5/24 2:30 – 3:45PM * Capitol B
Moderator: Monica Valentinelli. Lori Devoti, Liz L. Gorinsky, Kelly McCullough
Many writers long to stretch their writing muscles, working in different universes and broadening their scope and depth. Publishers and some elements of the reading public seem to prefer consistency: they like a writer who turns out a series, sometimes effectively the same book over and over again. How does a writer balance their own creative need for variety with the consumers’ desire for consistency?
Birthing a Writer’s Community * Sun 5/24 4:00 – 5:15PM * Conference 4
Moderator: Diane Silver. Stickshift Bear, Nancy Jane Moore, Michelle Murrain, Monica Valentinelli.
There isn’t a writer on earth who doesn’t spend too much time alone, staring at a blank page (or screen). We all need reaction and encouragement from others writers. Add in the struggle of surviving—not to mention retiring—on what may be a small income and the challenges that come with aging, and we’ve got a recipe for innovation. Let’s get together and discuss how to birth a writers community. We’re talking about a brick–and–mortar place that balances private space and time with satisfying contact with other writers and room for public gatherings. Such a community would share financial as well as physical resources. We’ll talk practicalities and share dreams.
Does a Writer Really Need a “Platform?” * Sun 5/24 10:00 – 11:15PM * Conference 4
Moderator: Mary Robinette. F. J. Bergmann, Rich Novotney, Monica Valentinelli
One idea that’s kicking around writers’ websites right now is that writers have to have a “platform”—something that makes you stand out from the crowd. Celebrity writers have built–in platforms; non–celebrities are encouraged to build up a platform with a website, blog, speaking tour, or similar self–promotion vehicle. Is this really necessary? Can’t you just write a damn good book?

What to Expect from Gaming and SciFi Conventions When You’re Speaking

Thanks to everyone who recommended RSS feeds for me; I’m going through the list and love the recommendations. This next post was inspired by a question from Facebook; it was such a great one I wanted to write about it so everyone could read it.

So you’ve come to a milestone in your writing career; either you’ve published a book or designed a few games and someone has noticed your product. Congratulations! You’ve been asked to be a part of their gaming, science fiction or similar convention. Never been to one before? Piece of cake!

Before you Go

The benefits to speaking at cons are pretty easy to see. You can develop relationships with new readers, fellow authors and promote a few of the other pros that have helped you along the way. Before you hop in your car, keep in mind that when you do go to a con (no matter how big or how small) you’re representing yourself as the “creative face” behind your product. That creative face becomes your persona, something that you can use as a promotional tool both on-and-offline.

Before you book your trip, you might want to ask a few questions:

  • How much of my expenses (convention pass, food, hotel, etc.) will be covered?
  • Will I have space in the dealer’s area to sell my books? Will I be charged for that?
  • Will I have the opportunity to perform an author reading for my book?
  • What type of speaking will I be expected to do? Panels, workshops, monologues, roundtables?
  • What is the expected attendance of the con? Hours?
  • Will there be any media coverage?
  • Do I have any other responsibilities as a guest or speaker?

Depending upon the size of the engagement, you may run into a situation where the environment is smaller and more focused, so you’ll have more one-on-one time with the people there. Generally speaking, the larger the con the more professional it gets. GenCon Indy, for example, has a Press Room but more often than not this seems to be the exception rather than the rule.

The most common type of speaking engagement at a con is a panel-based structure with a moderator. Featured speakers often provide a fully-developed, professional speech in a monologue format during key moments of the con.

As A Speakers or Guest

As a convention guest or speaker, you have a behind-the-scenes look at the fan culture. Many of the attendees that go to these cons are rabid readers and collectors, who follow authors religiously. In my experiences, there are often very knowledgeable attendees that are truly passionate about what they’re into. If you are not into gaming or science fiction or fantasy, be transparent with your potential readers. In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing a fan loves more than to tell you why they love Firefly or Babylon 5. To navigate around unfamiliar territory, many conventions will post their schedule online: I highly recommend either renting, playing, or learning a little bit about some of the events you might be interested in before you go. While you would not be obligated to be accessible 24-7 for the entire convention, appearing stand-offish because you’re uncomfortable in a room full of World of Darkness fans might end up giving people the wrong message.

Your first con might be a little overwhelming, but as you keep doing them you’ll find you can develop techniques to be professional, polite, and entertain your audience. Like most things, it takes work because there will be things you enjoy and things you don’t. A lot is riding on how well the convention planning holds when the day arrives. Take it from someone who has mentored others on running cons: it’s a lot of work. If something gets screwed up because your event was delayed or the room’s not perfect, be gracious. There is nothing worse than an unhappy guest in the middle of a busy con.

As an Attendee

So what does actually happen at a con? Well, if you’re going to something that involves gaming, there will be game demos–usually in blocks of time–that people may be pre-registering for. You might see a bunch of folk rolling dice or running down the hallways with feathery hats and leather vests; a lot of different kinds of games are played at gaming conventions. Sometimes sign-up for gaming is free, sometimes it’s not, so coordinate your schedule if you’d like to play.

You’ll probably see a variety of attendees dressed up in various costumes; dubbed “cosplay” there are some folk who enjoy donning a well-designed costume to support their favorite character. Age will vary from con to con, depending upon the games available and the events. Other events might include contests and awards, celebrity signings, a dealer’s room and/or art show, room parties, seminars, interviews, charity tournaments or auctions. Attendees often gauge what events they participate in based on their intent for attending the con; people are either finding work, having fun, reconnecting with old friends, networking, speaking, or are simply curious about what all the fuss is about.

Special note: Many of this year’s conventions will offer memoriams to one of the founding fathers of gaming, Gary Gygax. Be sure, if you are a speaker this year at a gaming con, to attend at least one of them.




Looking for Monica’s books and games that are still in print? Visit Monica Valentinelli on Amazon’s Author Central or a bookstore near you.

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