When I first started my blogging presence, I knew I wanted to take a more professional tack on it because of my career goals. I had been using LiveJournal for years, but didn’t really start thinking about a persona until I landed a job at an SEO consulting firm. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was knee-deep in keyword research and learning how to use and implement Google Analytics.
My day job isn’t the only thing that affected my persona. If you’re following along, you also know that I have a background as a writer, musical performer, amateur artist and photographer and as a gamer. It’s no secret that my tastes run dark. I’d rather be fighting zombies in a game than worrying about running a fashion shop. (Although, I do love fashion. I blame the uniforms I was stuck in for eight years.) However, if I had to point to one thing that’s influenced how I portray myself online more than any other, it is looking at the business of writing and being a writer.
The reason why I’ve done that, is because I haven’t always had the best experiences in the professional world when I reveal my game designer and author side. Where I live, a lot of businesses are very, very conservative. As a female who loves genres and gaming, I have encountered some resistance in the professional world. Other women gamers have expressed their fear that I should “hide” those interests because of the rampant stereotypes associated with gamers. And yes, there have been a few instances where religious people have indicated I will be going to hell for my love of all things dark. Sadly, I am not the only one who has encountered that attitude, either.
Striking a balance between a job and my creative endeavors has been a challenge, because I’m the type of person who is very passionate about almost everything that I do. Fortunately, I am now finding myself in a place where I can relax about some of these things, because I’ve been able to develop enough relationships with other people that the stereotypes don’t even enter their minds.
In many ways, these are the reasons why I’ve “held back” talking about some of the things that define me. Now, I’m getting to the point where I can’t do that and expect growth. There are a lot of people who have told me, once they hear what I want to do with my work and the profits thereof, that I need to focus on my own promotion. In order to do that, though, I have to balance my other need – to help other creative professionals learn business. Fortunately, there is a way for me to do that. Several people have approached me to start teaching workshops, and that is something I will be experimenting with.
Growing pains are a good thing, but they are also uncomfortable for me. At some point, I know I will have to express things that are uncomfortable for me to talk about. I don’t “want” to go in-depth into politics or feminism, but I feel that I have to with some topics, just so you understand where I’m coming from. Mind you, many of these subjects come up on panels and whatnot, too. A five minute discussion in a public forum is not enough time for me to discuss my personal views, but it is just long enough to leave an impression in your mind. Sometimes, that’s going to be a good impression, and sometimes that’s not. Unfortunately, that means that the minute I start discussing what my views are some people are going to be turned off by that. I’ve come to that crushing realization that not only can’t I please everyone, but everyone is not a potential reader. I would love to be a generalist to reach more readers, but based on who I am and what my beliefs are, that may not be the case. But what do I know? Still have to go on the journey, no matter how much trepidation I might have.
Right now, those impressions don’t matter as much just because many of you are probably not familiar with my writing or game design. Public figures who already have a persona often get more leeway when they talk about politics or feminism because there’s enough people out there who will still buy their books, watch their movies or listen to their concerts. I’m nowhere near to that yet, which is both good and bad. I have a lot more freedom to make mistakes than a public figure might, but I also have to keep that professional appearance in check because of my career and the work that I do.
Regardless of what happens from here on out, I feel that this part of my life is something that I want to share with you because I know that many of you are in the same boat that I am. If anything, I hope that you keep in mind that I am always open to other people’s opinions provided that you don’t present them as an absolute. Just like there isn’t one path to becoming a published author, there definitely isn’t one way to be.
If there was, I sure as hell wouldn’t have anything to write about.
For the past six months or so, I’ve been exploring and sharing my process to create an alien language. This series has been extremely popular on the Apex Book Company blog and it’s been picked up by several places including i09.com. To me, the creation of an alien language is fascinating because it can evolve into the cornerstone of an entirely new culture with its own rules, beliefs and way of life. I’d like to test that theory, but I need your help to do it.