And 2013 starts off with a bang! Or three. Or four. Right after the holidays, I dove into my style of project management; I set up a few spreadsheets, goals, graphs, and other ephemera — and hit the ground running. As a result, there will be several announcements leading into late Spring/Summer. Some are related to my own work, some are connected to licensed properties, and a few are in line with my “day job” wheelhouse, consulting. It began as a healthy enough mix of spec and paid, and all boats were lifting, lifting, lifting until…
This week, my SO, Matt, took an unexpected trip to the ER in the middle of a blizzard. It’s his heart. More tests, more exams scheduled, etc. etc. etc. Possibly surgery. Yeah, that kind. We just don’t know yet. So, more waiting. Initial tests came back just fine, though, which is what we both expected. Right now, we’re erring on the side of caution and hope the cardiologist is spectacular.
Matt and I have been together for years; he is my family and he’s treated me like *gold.* I knew that he was a good guy when he told me, up and down, how much he hated musicals — but he showed up to my rock opera performance, anyway, to show his support. And, while he’s a very humble guy, he doesn’t talk about the charity work or any of the other amazing things he does to make the world a better place. He’s just not that way and I love him for it. In short: he’s my hero.
We’ve had our ups and downs, just like any other couple, but our troubles have always been relatively minor day-to-day stuff and pseudo mid-life crisis crap compared with everybody else. (He’s got a GREAT job and a very understanding boss.) This year, we were going to take that international vacation, wrap in a few work meetings with publishers, and start making some of our dreams come true. Mine, of course, is to make a decent enough living off of my creative works and consulting efforts so we can buy a house with a large garden. The future was already on our minds; milestone birthdays will do that to you.
It’s just… now I want our dreams, like our trip to England, to come true. I want to be that crazy American in a karaoke club singing Queen. (Though, admittedly, he may not be able to watch that part of the trip.) I want to find a Tardis, stand in front of Big Ben, grab a ridiculously tall glass of stout, and savor the best of English cuisine. And I want to do this with him.
I’ve always erred on the side of pragmatic, careful when I blog, because you never know who’s reading your updates. We’re both pretty private people and that allows us to have a life offline. However, I am a very passionate person and sometimes I am scared to tell you how much I love, love, love what I do and all the people in it. I’ve had a crazy-ass life — brilliant moments and horrifying lows — and I wouldn’t trade this for anything. But, at the same time, that passion (and the show of it) is very scary on the receiving end. (There’s a reason why folks say I’m a force of nature, after all.) It’s not socially appropriate to run down the street screaming at the top of your lungs, after all.
But why not? Seriously. WHY NOT? Half the time, I feel like I’m going to burst out of my skin. And, I can tell you, the more mortality you face, the more skin-bursting you’ll want to do.
Then, reality hits. And it’s a major downer. But I have no time to be down. None whatsoever. Maybe one day I’ll tell you the rest of this story, but I’m not ready to do that just yet.
So, now you know why you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me this year. I’m not just writing for Matt’s heart. I’m writing for mine, too. I just hope readers and gamers like you will follow.
Deep breath. Here we go…
- Mood: Optimistic
Caffeinated Beverages Consumed: Balanced. It’s a strange feeling.
Work-Out Minutes Logged Yesterday: Um… Didn’t happen. Has to happen today.
In My Ears: “Stronger Than Ever” by Christina Aguilera
Game Last Played: Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed
Movie Last Viewed: Empire Strikes Back
Latest Artistic Project: SHINIES. Still need to take pics…
Latest Release: “The Button” We Are Dust anthology