Today’s post is by Jess Hartley. Recently, a commenter on Twitter asked why we were using the word tolerance instead of acceptance for our event and I asked Jess to handle a detailed response. She nails the reason why and really gives us all something to think about. In this post, she uncovers not only why I’m not defining what geek is, but also why I’m using the word tolerance. Let’s listen to what she has to say.

I take my interpretation of the word “acceptance” from the Eastern philosophical perspective. If I strive for acceptance in a situation, I seek to experience them without effort to change, protest or remove myself from it. And, while I’m great with the first two for most things, I’m afraid I’m really not up for the third.

One of the great things about being a part of Speak Out With Your Geek Out is that it’s inclusive of all forms of geekery. If you’re a “classic” geek and groove on sci-fi movies, computers, fantasy novels and roleplaying games, that’s awesome. Let your geek flag fly! But there’s also more than enough room for music geeks, history geeks, sports geeks, scrapbooking geeks – being geeky is about being more-enthusiastic-than-the-mainstream about whatever it is that floats your boat, regardless of the topic.

If I were to strive for acceptance of all geeks (by my definition) that would mean I was just as happy sitting and listening to Joe Nascar discuss the average times of his favorite driver as I am listening to folks talk about their White Wolf character. And, not only am I not; I have no desire to be. I think it’s completely cool for folks to be as geeky as possible about whatever their chosen focus is. That doesn’t mean I want to hang out and listen. To me, that is why I don’t use the term acceptance. I don’t believe we all have to be interested in, participate in, or even put our support (ie: expend time, energy or resources) towards a geekery that isn’t our own.

However, I do believe in tolerance of geeks and non-geeks alike. Just because I don’t want to spend an hour at my favorite convention attending a panel on fantasy football leagues doesn’t mean that I want to block a FFL geek from doing so, or that I don’t wish her the best in organizing it. I strive not to insult, look down my nose at, put myself above or in other ways treat other forms of geekery as less valuable, less okay, less valid than my own. To me, that is tolerance, and that is something I can strive for in every interaction I have with other people, whether virtual or face-to-face.

That is why I choose the term tolerance, rather than acceptance, when referring to how I want to interact with other geeks.

Ultimately, however, I think that the choice to use one word over the other is a personal one. I choose “Tolerance” because of what it means to me. If “Acceptance” works better for you, and that empowers you to be positive and inclusive; so be it! Let’s concentrate on that, rather than quibbling about the minutiae of whether one positive word is more appropriate than or should be used in place of another positive one.

Especially for word-geeks like me, it’s hard to fight the temptation to nitpick about definitions and interpretations. (Don’t even get me started on how “ironic” is misused!) But investing energy in that argument, and thus creating an unnecessary and potentially divisive line really detracts from the inclusive intent of Speak Out With Your Geek Out. I want less lines between me and the rest of the world, not more.